the raven ~ Had pecked his eye out
Frank Westcott, 2018. All rights reserved.
I read this story in the early 1990’s at a Canadian Author’s
Association/Warkworth Writers Weekend. I was invited by former Canadian
Author’s Association president, Eleanor McEachern to lead a workshop
on short story writing, and all workshop leaders read from their work the night
before to a packed house. I called my workshop ‘WRITING FROM THE INSIDE OUT'.
Still a good workshop. Some writers had breakthroughs during their time with
me. Very gratifying. I like to make people laugh, so it was fun to read this
story. Then, oddly, in October, 2017 while on a Canadian bus tour of music
haunts in Tennessee, I printed it out and our tour guide read the story to our
group as a happy diversion on the road! Amazes me how creative stuff finds its ‘life’ in the oddest happenings sometimes.
"Hi!" I'm looking after Sally's
place while she's gone. I like Sally. She's just like Cher, except Sally's a
blonde and not a brunette and Sally doesn't go on T.V. in her underwear.
Sally's never had her picture on the cover of National Inquirer either. Sally
knows a lot about smells. She work's at Sera’s in the perfume department.
There's not much to looking
after Sally's place. There's just Dundee, her pet crocodile who lives in the
bathroom, and talking to her plants. She told me to talk to her plants
didn't really know what to say to them, so I read to them. I started with Anne
of Green Gables then went on to Anne of Avonlea, and finally Moby Dick. Now, I
just leave the T.V. on all the time.
Hope Sally brings some perfume
back with her. Her place is starting to smell.
I'm at Sally's now. Got a
letter to leave on her kitchen table. Took me all day to write. I'll put the
letter in the center of the table beside the envelope, so she can't miss it.
Let's see what did I say to
I hope you found your father at
My psychiatrist, Dr. Smith, says
I caught claustrophobia last week when I got stuck in your closet.
forgot to feed Dundee while you were away. He ate your shoe. I hope he didn't
eat you before you left.
You left your dentures in the
glass on the counter.
Yesterday, Dr. Smith dissented me
with Doctor Sigmud Froide. Doctor Smith said Doctor Froide said I have Eatipus
Duplex. So, I'm renting a flat now. I'm going to see Doctor Heddy-Bender
tomorrow. I hope I don't catch Flatipus Oneplex from her.
I bought six pairs of cotton socks
from Harry. I got two blue pair, two black pair, and two white pair. The socks
have toe holes in them, so I won't have to take them off to clean my nails. I
soaked Harry's socks in bleach all week. The smell's almost gone. So are the
socks. I'm going to the Laundromat this afternoon to watch the rest of them
dry. Can you bring me some perfume when you get back?
The plant in the big pot by the door
I hope Dundee doesn't have babies while
you're gone. You know how I hate anything with teeth. One of the happiest days
of my life was the day you got your dentures.
I hope having a flat helps. Maybe someday
I'll be able to drink out of the glass with your teeth in it.
Can you mail this when you get back?
Sally likes my letter. Better get to the Laundromat and get my socks dried.
The ones I have on are starting to fall off my feet. Maybe I should buy a pair
of shoes... See ya!
or THE BEGINNING, SOON, OF THE NEXT ONE ! !
for A LETTER TO SALLY: I am not sure what triggered the idea for this story. Was
probably thinking about my grandmother & her dentures she used to leave in a
glass on her kitchen counter. AND how I ated, no hated, that. Dreamt of those teeth coming to life. A nightmare!!
Story creation might have, likely was, a time I was checking a girlfriend’s
apartment while she was on a holiday somewhere. Don’t know if she had teeth
that came out or not ! She did have a plant though. It died. Didn’t have an
alligator. I saw anyway. Never checked her bathtub! Bought her a new plant and
a toothbrush just in case.